For many of us, this thought process is so engrained that we hardly notice when it arises. While it may seem unnatural to view ourselves through this outside lens, we all possess this critical inner voice. How could you mess up on your diet again?” You’ve had a rough week you deserve it.” Later, it will fire with comments like: “You’re such a fat loser. You shouldn’t trust her.” It’s even there to criticize those close to us: “Why does he even hang out with you? There must be something wrong with him.” Finally, this voice can seem self-soothing, coddling us yet encouraging us to act in ways that our self-destructive, then punishing us for messing up: “Go ahead, have that second piece of cake. Sooner or later you’re going to mess up.” It’s there to sabotage our relationships: “She doesn’t really love you. It’s there to undermine our goals: “Who do you think you are? You’ll never be successful!” It’s there to undercut our accomplishments: “This won’t end well. The anti-self is expressed in our “ critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice is like an internal coach negatively commentating on our lives, influencing how we behave and how we feel about ourselves. Robert Firestone has described, each of us has a “real self,” a part of us that is self-accepting, goal-directed and life-affirming as well as an “anti-self,” a side of us that is self-hating, self-denying, paranoid and suspicious. This feeling about ourselves is common because every person is divided. Even people who seem well-adjusted and well-liked in their social circles have deep-seated feelings of being an outcast or a fraud. Robert and Lisa Firestone found that the most common self-critical thought among a diverse population of subjects tested is “You are different from other people.” Most people see themselves as different, not in some positive or special way, but in a negative sense. “I hate myself” is a fairly common thought.īut where do these feelings come from? How do they influence us? And how can we push past them to live a life free of the harsh attitudes of our inner critic? The Critical Inner Voice and Self-Hatred It’s a painful reality that much of what limits us in our lives is our own feelings of unworthiness and self-hatred. Critical Inner Voice, Self Development, Self-Destructive Behavior, Self-Esteemįor most of us, the expression “you are your own worst enemy” holds a lot of truth.
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